"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
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