Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
