tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
