Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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