The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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