Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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