I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
