I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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