Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
