Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
