In the future we'll all be gay
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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