I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
There's even glitter on my cock...
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