it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
