but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
