My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
