i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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