I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Did you just see the Batmobile???
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
