): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
