how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
