Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
