Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
