Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
