Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
