Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
