HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
