Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
