i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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