**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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