Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I need a burrito and a hug.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
