Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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