I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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