trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
