I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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