Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I think I sprained my soul last night
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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