At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
