Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Girls should come with a carfax report
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I came so hard my ears popped.
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