Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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