can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
