I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
