Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
