When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
