part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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