I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
