Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Randomize
