Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
