You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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