Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
