I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just threw up on my dentist
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
