we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
they call him Oral-B. enough said
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
