Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
