well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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