I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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