3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Randomize
